Do you know how it feels when you really want something but you can't have it?
When you really suffer missing just THAT and could do anything to get it?

I had that feeling yesterday evening. I was babysitting, the children were sleeping and I sat by the computer on Facebook. I was talking to a swedish friend when he suddenly said "I might be a bit off, there's this program on the tv that I want to see". It was "Idol", one of my old favourits that starts with a new season every autumn. It made me a bit sad and disappointed because I wanted to see it, but couldn't. Uff...

Anyway, today I've been solving my problem. I've looked up the tv schedule so I know what programs I can watch and when. I actually got a bit surprised...

I can see
"My name is Earl" every day at 14.20-14.50
"Ugly Betty" every day at 17.35-18.25
"Who want's to be a Millionair" every day at 18.50-20.00

Just like in Sweden! :)

And I can see a new movie every evening
Tonight "The incredible HULK"
Tomorrow "I Robot"
On saturday "Shrek 3"

So even if I miss "Idol" and other tv-shows in Sweden I'll be just fine with my italian-tv!

Some shopping, some happiness!

Finally, here it is... The dress! Do you like it?

And of course I've had time to find other things too.
Love love love when seasons are changing. Love shopping! :)


All around the world

I am a curious person, that's why I just loooooove travelling!

I love to get away for a while
to discover things I didn't know
to meet people I've never met
and to see places I've never seen...

That's why I chose to become an aupair in Italy!

But now times are changing and I'll actually remain in Italy. I'll do my travels to Sweden instead, to go back "home" and visit everyone. Not to discover things I didn't know, not to meet people I've never met before, not to see places I've never seen. Now it's on the contrary, I'm actually going home to remind me of the things that I do know, to meet the ones that I've always met before and to see my old home that I've always seen... But I like that feeling. It makes me happy.

Yesterday I actually booked my next plane home. I'll leave from Milano Bergamo to Stockholm Skavsta the 10 November at 20.20 and I'll arrive at 22.50. So people, I want you to be prepared this time! It's only 1,5 month left ;)

Swedish politics

I just read a swedish girls blogpost about the parliamentary elections in Sweden. This girl wrote her opinion about Sverige Demokraterna (Sweden Democrats or SD) that are participating in the parliamentary for the next 4 years.

"SD is a Swedish political party that describes itself as a nationalist movement. They are in favor of the traditional nuclear family and wishes to a strongly restrict immigration." Wikipedia

This young girl wrote that she´s ashamed to call herself swedish. That´s one of the most horrible things I´ve ever heard. She should be proud of living in such a beautiful and well functioning country and she should be proud of being swedish!

I actually do agree with SD in some parts, but it does´t mean that I´m a rasist. I think that Sweden has too much immigration and I think that Sweden is getting too much influences from the immigrants. The swedish people have to accept and to change, the immigrants don´t. And if the swedish people don´t accept or don´t change, they´re called rasist. I don´t think it´s right! I mean, the swedish people accept the immigrants by letting them live in Sweden. Then the swedish people get called rasists because they have swedish commercial on the tv or because they let their children sing the national anthem at school. I think it´s wrong! It´s Awful!

If people want to immigrate to Sweden I think they should be allowed, but then they have to adapt themselves to the swedish traditions and the swedish culture. Swedish people should not have to adapt themselves to the immigrators, they´re living in Sweden and they should be able to be swedish.

I actually know how it is to move to another country and what it means to adapt yourself to the culture, the religion and the traditions. Some things are different and I have to accept it. That´s just how it is! Simple!

Just smile, be happy!

Sometimes you just smile. For nothing. For something. For everything.
Today I'm happy! The sun is shining and I'm listening to good music.

I had a talk with one of my best friends earlier and she made me realize one thing... How important it is to have real friends, just like her. Friends that you can always trust. Friends that needs something from you but always gives you something back. Friends that you laugh and cry with, that you share things with, that you discover things with. I'm just so lucky to have those friends! The only bad thing is that they're all far away. And that I miss them.

I'm having trouble sleeping

Last night I just couldn't sleep. I had so many thoughts running around in my head. I felt stressed, weak... and depressed. But fortunatly I had my boyfriend next to me who stayed awake with me and encouraged me. After all he made me fall asleep.

When I woke up I was tired (as I should have been after a night without sleep). I went back to bed and slept a few hours, then I woke up again at 11.30 and felt even more tired than before. I ate, had a shower and talked with my italian parents about the future.

Since I didn't get in at University I need to find a job. A real job. A job that I feel comfortable with. A job where I can earn some money. A normal job. And I need to change my residence. At the moment I feel quite lost. I'm in the middle of what I think is my old and my new life... and it's confusing! It's not that I don't like to be here, because I really do, it's just something that I've never thought about before. To move, yes, but not to another country right away and not at this moment. Well, it's life. Everything happends for a reason, no?

I have to start all over again... But anyway I'll hold on to my passed.

The Perishers - Trouble sleeping
this just reminds me of the O.C.

LIFE is the thing that comes in between your plans.

That means that I'm living my life and I just have to accept it. They say that life is what you make it... You make your choices, but you can't decide how it will end.

I decided to take the test, but I didn't enter at University. I had 3 points less then I needed to get in... 3 points. Uff! Anyway, now I've tried and it didn't work this time... Let's just hope it does next year.

So from now on my next project is to find a job!

PS. The tiles in the bathroom are up... And it's beautiful! And it will be even more beautiful when it's finished! Finito as we say. DS.

The small ones are growing up

Tuesday, the second day of school for "my" children.

You should have seen them yesterday and the night before. Both of them found it very hard to sleep in the night since they knew that the day after was their first day of school. In the morning they woke up at 6, they changed their clothes, brushed their teeth... and they were ready to go! 

The youngest one, the girl, has now started 1st class and she's just waiting for the next morning to come. She's very happy to go to school, to meet her new teacher and friends and she seems to want to learn things, to be big (as her brother). We'll see how long that lasts...

The older one, the boy, has started 4th class. He was happy the first day, but in the afternoon he was already tired of doing his homework. I just hope it won't be to hard for him to do it.

These days I'm just waiting for my results from school. I also want to start school. I also want to meet new friends and learn new things. I just hope my results are enough to get in. I'll just wait and see.

Goodbye summer, hello autumn!

The ones who knows me knows that I love clothes.

I love when the seasons are changing, like now when autumn is arriving. Then I have the possibility to change my stile and my wardrobe. Normally I put away the summerclothes and take out boxes filled with autumnclothes from last year and every year I get surprised and very happy. I feel like a little child on Christmas Eve.

Then... of course... I always feel like buying something new. The last days I've looked up websites of shops that I can find in Sweden like Ginatricot, BIKBOK & Monki. But there was only one that I actually liked:
BIKBOK. Good website, lovely clothes to normal prices. Just as it should be!

Good luck!

Ok, the test is done!
It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but you know how it is when you're excited, a bit nervous... Sometimes it can be good, but in some cases you get unsecure and you just do things wrong. I just hope I didn't. It felt good anyway... So now I have one thing less on my mind, and that's good! The next "big" thing is the wedding... And I'm prepared!

At the moment I'm sitting at my boyfriends house. He's working, just as I did until one hour ago. The children were behaving extremly good tonight which made it alot easier for me. I cooked, made their favourite dish ("pasta al ragù" it's pasta with a sauce of minced meat) and read a story (Bolt) in italian, that was enough to please them. I was lucky!

Lucky, as I always am. I'm just so happy with my life right now! With being here in Italy. With my boyfriend v

Admission test

Tomorrow I have the test... The test to see if I get in at University or not. I'm nervous.

I know that the test has 80 questions and that I have 2 hours to make it.

I know that 40 questions are about logic and general knowledge.
I know that 18 questions are about biology.
I know that 11 questions are about chemistry.
And the last 11 questions are about fysics and mathematics.

I know that everything is in italian. And I know that alot of people are doing the test. But it never hurts to try, does it? In worst case I'm prepared for next year. Anyway... I'll try my hardest. I really want to get in!

So, wish me good luck!

The dress

I've found it... The dress. And it's lovely! I'll put up a picture as soon as possible.

By the way, I found it at
Rinascimento, you just have to have a look at the new collection!

Last week

When I'm busy, I don't have time to write. When it's bad weather, I don't want to use the comupter (which isn't even mine). When I'm studying, I'm not on Facebook, MSN or here. To make it clear... I haven't had time.

Last friday we had a "piano-day" at home, just like every friday. Both of the children that I'm loking after are playing the piano. Their pianoteacher comes to our house, with her children, to have "lessons" with the mum.  That means that instead of having two children to look after, I have four. Well, to be honest it's easier because they play all together. They paint, they run around (and scream) and swim in the pool. It all ends with water everywhere!

Like on saturday... It was raining (it was like a swimmingpool), it was horribly windy and cold. Trees fell over the streets, roofs blew away and at my boyfriends house the antenna broke. My boyfriend and I escaped from home... We found streets that were closed, others full of water. It was a disaster!

A disaster, but a diffent kind is what my boyfriends house looks like. We have a whole in the wall (that will be a window) in our future bedroom, we have a half done bathroom and we have a kitchen but it's not on it's place yet. Alot of work has been done in a very short time and I'm impressed, I'm surprised, I'm happy!

To the next thing... The wedding in October. My boyfriend has bought everything... Trousers, a shirt, shoes, a belt and a blazer/jacket. I haven't bought anything. Anyway, on saturday it's my turn to try dresses, shoes and bags. It's my turn to spend money and to have some girltime, without boys. It just can't be better... Can it?